Confusion

Disorientation

Frustration

I'm a mess on the inside.. like a volcano about to erupt. i can feel the anger and anxiety surging from within.. no one really gets it. they all say 'this always happens early in a relationship, feelings seem to wear thin and uncertainty circles your head.. it will pass.'

Will it? I'm not so sure.. so many issues of my own and my friends'.. it's too much to have to deal with yet someone else's. Especially when theirs are so brutal and so many.

I was in a high of life.. then I met her.. fell for her.. now I've stopped falling. I'm not climbing back up and I'm not continuing to fall.... I've just... Stopped.

Don't know what to do, if I break up with her i could well be responsible for her suicide, no way will I want to live with that for the rest of my life.

If I stay it'll kill me.. having to deal with all her problems and trying to fix them. She's so needy and so clingy that every duty of a boyfriend that I once yearned for, seems like an obligation more than an honour or a blessing.

My friends I can deal with.. because I'm not the only one that they've got. But with her it's all on me.. so if I fail then she cries.... or dies.

Fucking help... I'm not as strong as everyone thinks..